GEM;noun.1. the predicament of thinking of a witty retort too late personified. 2. ginger with severe procrastination issues. 3. stuck in a daydream dressed like a nightmare ♔
“Somewhere out there, there’s this tree with star-shaped fruit… and the fruit represents an unbreakable connection. So as long as you and your friends carry good luck charms shaped like it, nothing can ever drive you apart. You’ll always find your way back to each other.”
it’s been a shit-stressful week so i devoured the entirety of Boys by @caseyvalhalla in one sitting and was absolutely enraptured by the idea of axel in a sloppy french braid so i was like “yeah imma draw that” but im just clawing @ my face now for essentially just drawing elsa im done
like I don’t even like him and I still think it’s the greatest/funniest thing
like he wakes up human and pretty much the first thing he does is to go Yen Sid’s house and be like, “hohkay, so, I know I’m a jackass BUT i wanna Keyblade, teach me the thing” and everybody’s just like
yen sid’s just “son first of all that is not even how this works BUT second of all xehanort is up to some goddamn bullshit right now and your idea is so fucking stupid that maybe it will catch him off guard”
so Lea gets shipped off to boot camp
and you’d THINK being a popular character Lea would get some kind of thumbs-up from the writers, “oh yeah he’s an ex-Organization member but look at what a strong heart he has, wow so talent, much Keyblade” buuuut Yen Sid’s just
…which is wise old man speak for “jesus this man is the shittiest piece of lame-o shit who has ever tried to wield a Keyblade, holy fucking christ why”
and also like?? his freaking boot camp is an 80s training montage??
no literally
“a place that’s more temporally flexible” = magically-generated pocket of space-time with Eye of the Tiger blaring in the background on infinite loop for days/weeks
also why is there no art of Merlin and the fairies running Lea ragged during boot camp I need it
SO he comes out of boot camp and gallops off to The World That Never Was all ready to wield a Keyblade except he doesn’t?? he just uses chakrams and parkour like always??? and then at the end he’s all
READ THAT SHIT AGAIN
EVEN AFTER TRAINING FOR THE NORMAL TIMEFLOW EQUIVALENT OF DAYS IF NOT WEEKS (PROBABLY WEEKS??) HE COULD NOT EVEN GET THE DAMN THING TO APPEAR WHEN HE NEEDED TO FIGHT A BATTLE
AND IF HE HAD MANAGED TO HE ADMITTED HE WAS GOING TO JUST CHARGE INTO THE NORT MEETING WAVING HIS KEYBLADE LIKE SOME KIND OF LEEROY JENKINS-LEVEL DUMBASS
so he says that and then?? suddenly KEYBLADE GET
nobody is even proud of him or anything they’re all just SHITTING BRICKS
LOOK AT ALL THE BRICKS YEN SID IS SHITTING HE FUCKING STOOD UP FROM HIS CHAIR LITERALLY NOBODY HAD AN OUNCE OF FAITH THAT HE COULD DO THIS
LEA HIMSELF CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE IT, he’s just like “holy fuck it worked this time what do”
i’m sorry I just, this is the funniest thing to me
they go to such great pains to make Lea the crappiest Keyblader who has ever Keybladed and I can’t wait for Roxas to hopefully come back in KHIII because you just know how that conversation is gonna go down
“yeah man while you were away I got me a Keyblade! heh, I knew if you could get one then I definitely could! wanna spar?”
and they have a practice battle and Roxas beats his ass into the ground
That’s it. From this moment forward, I will only be referring to the hopeless dweebnut formerly known as Axel as Learoy Jenkins.
God bless all of you. I’m going to go laugh until I cry now.
Lea/Axel is and has always been the Flurry of Dancing Derps and I love him
Remember those lazy afternoons when we’d just sit around and watch the sun set? We’d sit there for hours, until the red disappeared from the sky. Sometimes, you’d fall asleep, but it was okay, I never minded the silence.
That might sound boring, but the boring days are the days I remember the most.
